Kampua Talk is moving!

Yupe! You read that right! Kampua Talk is moving. Kampua Talk no longer uses http://clarenic.blogspot.com

I have bought my own domain and host a website. Therefore, Kampua Talk will now move to www.clareng.com Easy to remember, coz that's my name. Anyway, just wanna inform those who read this, no more updates here. Please link me up soon. Thanks!

PS: Wuching, I'll do your tag after I sort out the mess I've created in my new page ya! Be patient! Hahaha!!!

Pirate Nuffnangers together gather watch movie

I went to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean 3: The World's End with 249 other bloggers last night. We went to collect the ticket early and there was no human jam. We chatted with The Boss for a while. Timothy said he only recognizes people from their blogs and not their names. And no, he did not wear the Aladdin's Genie costume. I heard that there were only FIVE bloggers who went to the movie dressed as pirates while the remaining 245 dressed casually in T-shirt and jeans or working shirt. So much for seeing a herd of pirates raiding Hall 9 of Cathay!

We met up with Nicole the Miss Malaysia Universe 2007 contestant No.7 who quitted due to her father's health condition and brought her to get her tickets. By that time, the other bloggers had arrived. I scanned the crowd to look for familiar faces from blogs that I stalked all the time. I saw Suanie and Fireangel dressed as pirates. I saw Timothy who was busy greeting/chatting/discussing with random people. I saw Jeff Ooi standing nearby chatting with someone. Then there was SmashpOp in red, also busy chatting with someone.

Suanie the Drunken Pirate, KY and Fireangel *stolen from Suanie's blog*

Nicole then dragged us to Midori for dinner. We met up with her movie partner, Justina and also Gerald who joined us at Midori. We were almost the last four to enter the hall. The hall was almost full. Seriously, watching movies with the other bloggers is totally different from watching movies with random people. Don't ask me why.

"Captain Barbossa! Welcome to Singapore!" -Sao Feng (Chow Yun Fatt)

But the Kojak died halfway through the movie though. Pardon me for the spoiler, I couldn't help it! LOL!!! Anyway, it does not matter with or without him in the movie. He ain't outstanding in the movie anyway. It is confusing whether he is the bad guy or the good guy in the movie.

Will to Elizabeth: "Will you marry me?"

Expect the unexpected. Spoiler #2: A wedding in the middle of a pitched battle between the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman! Ridiculous? Tell me about it.

Spoiler #3: Davy Jones, the guy with tentacles face also died.

Spoiler #4: Will Turner was stabbed by Davy Jones and died. But he comes to live again because...(watch the movie yourself lah, this part is interesting!)

Enough of spoilers, later a lot of people come and tiu me...Heheheh!

My all time favourite character of POC is Captain Jack Sparrow. He is funny! And confusing. The way he slurs his lines and struts his way around definitely threw me off my seat and sent me rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off, literally. It enhanced the fun and excitement when a part of the blogsphere watched and laughed together gether with you!

I bumped into Wingz after the movie talking to a girl while we were on our way out. He was behind me. I also bumped into Kenny Ng who so happened to be somewhere nearby also after the movie, on our way out. I managed to wave and said hi. Haha! He said he went there right after work. I was kind of tired after the movie though so did not talk much. Pai seh ah, Kenny!

*thumbs up for this movie even though POC 1 remains the best*

Thank you, Nuffnang, for the tickets! Looking forward to join more activities in the future. Thanks a lot to Exabytes for the popcorn and the soft drink. If it wasn't for you, I think I'd dehydrate after 3 hours in the hall.

The BEST movie I've ever watched!

I Don't Want To Sleep Alone

NOT!!!

Despite the overall ratings of 4.5 stars from Cinema Online, this movie suck like nobody's business! I was itchy-assed and suggested we watch this movie last night and felt nothing but CHEATED! We paid RM10 each to watch some prominent landmark of Malaysia (read that as KL!), the typical attitude of Malaysians and above all, a mute movie! I thought I went into the wrong hall because I did not notice any deaf people in the hall. Yes, you read it right, NO conversation at all throughout the entire 2 hours of the movie!

This movie does not have an enlightening opening. It starts off with an agonisingly long shot of a semiconcious boy on a hospital bed lying as still as the stone staring at nothing particular from morning till evening. This is then followed by a shot of a dumb and stupid looking girl and equally stupid and rugged-looking guy staring idiotic-ly at a cook frying some meat/vegetable/mee. Later the scene switched to a crowd of people at a back alley of somewhere with a Malay guy trying to con the crowd for their money.

"Saya kasi sama lu dua nombor lah. Esok pasti keluar punya. Gerenti!" And the crowd of Bangla, Indian, Malay, Chinese, etc bodoh-ly pay him some money and went off. The Malay conman and his people would beat up anyone who does not want to pay. Oh, did I mention this movie has no conversation? I think the only conversation happened in the crowd.

This movie also potrays the level of poverty that a lot of people are experiencing but never known to us. I thought the focus of this movie is on the stinking tilam that some guys brought back and with that flea-infested tilam, I learnt some ridiculous things by paying RM10.

Here's the spoiler/ridiculous things:

• When carrying a huge and heavy fleas-infested tilam, you get your friends to carry it with you over your heads from one side of the town to the other. The scene of carrying the tilam passing by Pudu jail kept repeating!
• Wash the dirty tilam by hand - scrubbing at area of only 50cm square on the tilam with a brush and some soap and a few scoops of water. (It is a heavy, thick and huge tilam, mind you)
• When there is haze and you are too stingy to buy a mask, you can either use disposable bowls with string attached to it (I almost fell of my chair laughing) or hanging a plastic bag around your face so that you can breath (I literally rolled on the floor laughing my ass off!)
• Do not order you coffee (or any drinks, for that matter) to be delivered to your office during tea breaks. Some guy passing by might have grabbed you coffee and drank a few sips before running off. Or the coffee might have spilt onto the tray and to avoid the hustle of going back to get a new one, the delivery girl/boy could just pour the liquid back into your cup! Yucks!
• You can torture anyone who is semiconcious/comatose/vegetable who is under your care i.e. by brushing his/her teeth as if you are brushing a donkey's ass, scrubbing his/her head as if you are scrubbing the dirty toilet floor when shampooing, etc.
• Anyone who is in the vegetative state would be molested by his/her mother/father or other people anytime.
• You can fish at the puddle of water in an abandoned building opposite Pudu jail. (see picture above)
• You drink condensed milk before having sex. And by spitting the condensed milk into her mouth is a turn on. (NOT! Yikes~!)
• You'll have asthma attack when having sex when the haze swept the country. This could be cured by using the end of the guy's jeans to cover your nose.
• You get to screw the lady-boss of the girl you love also. She's the one who stalked you into the back alley and seduced you anyway.
  
• It is no big deal for a guy to love a girl AND the guy who saved your arse at the same time as well as to share the tilam with both of them!
• The guy who saved your arse will not have the heart to kill you with the used condensed milk tin and later cry like a sissy because he loves you as well.
  

Laughters could be heard throughout the movie when it came to the ridiculous scenes I've just mentioned. Towards the end of the movie, when the scene was focused on the water in the abandoned building for what seemed like eternity, I could hear the audience laughing and giggling. I laughed too. But I did not know what the hell we were laughing at! Obviously not at the water because there ain't anything funny about that.

When the lights came on, the hall errupted into a round of applause and laughter! I do not know why but I applauded and laughed with them. If you intend to watch this movie, better save those bucks to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3 or Transformer.

This is the WORST film ever!!! 4.5 stars my arse! Pirates of the Caribbean 3 only get 4 stars?!!! Stay far far from the movie. Not worth watching. No lesson to be learnt except that some directors are attempting too hard to be different and they failed miserably. A movie with no plot is like Superman without the red underwear on the outside.

Why local universities products are full of SHIT?

Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle.

Students who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURER LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.).

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Malaysia Bureau of Super High Intensity Teaching (The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

A letter: This is how most of UUM student will write

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok poperly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week he take I, Muthu and few of his friend to May Nonel to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye...

Worm regard,

Ah Beng
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Now tell me, who will want to hire people who write like THAT?!!! Not surprisingly, a lot of them are unemployed because they made a fool of themselves during job interviews. And yet the lecturers/vive-chancellors/officers from public universitites are still barking up the wrong tree, i.e. form a committee to look into the problem, come up with brilliant ideas to SOLVE the problem, cancel the whole idea when it didn't work, follow other countries' education system, etc.

Look at the quality of students nowadays. They are seriously deteriorating! No, the ministry obviously IS doing something about it and millions of ringgit has been spent to form a committee/look into problem/propose ideas/change system to follow other countries'.

In a nutshell, I only have two words to describe about the whole thing: WRONG APPROACH!

Dead and no longer performing

I was tagged by Clement to do this Which Band or Artist Which/Who is No Longer Performing or Alive Would You Have Loved To Have Seen?

*headache*

I am a sucker for good music, be it current or classic, but I prefer classical. There are a lot of great songs by bands and artists that I am still listening to. Hard for me to choose only ONE. The hell with that, I want to do TWO! So sue me!

Anyway, there is this particular artist, a legend, in the music industry that never failed to make me fall in love. To his music, I mean. I am sure a lot of people know him. Neh, the King of Rock 'n Roll:

Elvis Presley

8 January 1935 - 16 August 1977

My all time favourites:
Heartbreak Hotel (1956)
Blue Suede Shoes (1956)
Hound Dog (1956)
Love Me Tender (1956)
All Shook Up (1957)
Jailhouse Rock (1957)
Are You Lonesome Tonight? (1960)
Can't Help Falling In Love (1961)
Viva Las Vegas (1964)
A Little Less Conversation (1968)
...and many other more that I've lost count, damn it!

He died even before I was borned! And yet I've grown to love his songs which remain number one hits in the people's heart. Thanks to my dad who played his songs all the time when I was little that I am now addicted to golden oldies.

Next, this particular band came from Liverpool, England. The four-member band was a big hit back then. Even after they split up, individual members had their own moment of glory in their singing career . I am pretty sure you know who I am talking about.The Beatles

Who does not know them? John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr.

My all time favourite:
Yesterday; Love Me Do; I Want To Hold Your Hand; Can't Buy Me Love; A Hard Day's Night; Ticket To Ride; All You Need Is Love; Hey Jude; Let It Be; Obladi Oblada; Help!

Damn! Now I can't get their tune outta my head! *humming Love Me Do while typing this*

There are some other artists and bands that I'd love to have seen:

The Everly Brothers, The Carpenters, Lobo, The Jackson Five, Louis Armstrong, just to name a few.

These people produced/created/composed/sang great music of all time. Too bad, they are no longer doing that. But their music and songs remain. Golden oldies are the best! Let's Rock 'N Roll!!!

People that I want to invite to rock 'n roll with me:
Kenny Ng (I am sure you are going to love this!)
5xMom (Want to know which artist managed to serenade you off your feet. LOL!)
Zewt (I just feel like tagging you. Hahaha!!!)
Wuching (Want to tag a Foochow also. Muahahha!!)
Bengbeng (Let's see how classical can you get)
Nicole (Tag you for fun only)
Alvin (I doubt if you have any...prove me wrong!)
Rose (Song song tag you nia, can?)

What happened 28 weeks later?

I watched this movie just now at Cineleisure because of limited choices of good movies available. A part of it was because we had nothing to do. I somewhat stereotyped this movie when I first came across the title.

"28 Weeks Later" is not a zombie movie at all. It is far from the typical zombie that we know. No, those transformed-human do not fit or fulfill the requirements to be labelled as zombie. The typical zombie would die first before 'waking' up soul-less and attack human by dragging sluggishly across the ground. In this movie, they did not die first but they were instantly transformed after being infected and attack human by tearing, biting and ripping into anything alive at lightning speed.

If you are into blood and gore, this movie offered you a fair share. They were not too disgusting until you wouldn't dare to touch that tomato or chilli sauce for months. But those were not the main focus. Most of the time there were scenes of chaos when the Infected jumped on their helpless, screaming, unsuspecting victims but the technique they used to shoot the scene were fabulous.

The shock tactics. I jumped in my seat a couple of times. This movie never failed to create suspense right from the beginning. For example, the dark, eerie underground passages that spelt you-don't-know-what-or-who-might-be-watching-from-the-corners; dead bodies flooding the ground as seen from the night-vision goggles; etc that will make you engrossed without actually looking like they are trying to hard to do so.

A good movie, I must say. Better than 'Next', starring Nicholas Cage because I almost fell asleep when watching Next. 28 Weeks Later is not for faint-hearted though.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Sorry lor! Satisfied?

"Mana ada bocor? Batu Gajah pun bocor tiap-tiap bulan juga."

They apoligized to all Malaysian women. Ah, well, we know how some politicians are. If they were quoted or heard to say something offensive, there are only two things that they will do, generally. First, defend themselves like nobody's business and blame the media for 'misunderstanding' or 'misquote' them. The main thing is die die also don't want to admit mistakes. Second of all, apologize due to popular demand WITH self-defense AND blaming the media because 'that was not what they meant.'

In this bocor case, they did the second. How they apologize due to popular demand? Hold press conference or the likes and say sorry after everyone was pissed at the remarks that they made. Go back and sleep, wait for tomorrow morning's paper to see their faces on the front page of every newspaper in the country. Everybody happy, they are trouble-free. Self-defense you said? Of course! The lampar are bigger than the brain, you know. I quote:

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"Bung Mokhtar and Mohd Said however maintained that they were merely carrying out their duty as Barisan MPs in defending the Government against 'the Opposition's unfounded claims'."

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Hmmm...meaning they were just saying that to defend the government? They were being the heroes here? They are loyal and patriotic. They should be honoured, no? Ok, enough said. Next! Blame the media because that's not what they meant. Contradiction, contradiction. I quote again:

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"...some of the Barisan MPs might have gone overboard but there was no intention to insult women..."

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Sigh! Enough of those two lah. See the face also I tulan. People who insult women don't deserve to live because they indirectly insult their own mother. This applies to everyone.

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"I would like to categorically state that sexism in any form, by words or action, by men or women, whether in Parliment made by elected representatives of both Government and Opposition or indeed anywhere else in this country, is not acceptable." -Shahrizat-

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*standing ovation* (Full news here)

They should watch us doing Parlimentary debate. We are not supposed to make any personal attacks or name names when debating. But we are allowed to talk on sensitive issues EDUCATIONALLY. When doing rebuttal, we must have supporting facts. We don't go and insult people's mother during rebuttals. However, the REAL Parlimentary debate has gotten the world laughing at us. Tsk tsk tsk!

My grandpa used to say about the chao ah bengs polluting the streets today, "If they behave well, they will be politicians already, why still scattered around the streets and annoyed the hell out of us?"

Well, watching all the dramas in the Parliment today, I realized my grandpa was being sarcastic!

Enough said. It's Saturday anyway. Going off work soon! YAY!!!

Lelaki Labah-labah Tiga

I thought I could watch the premier for Spiderman 3. I had been waiting for ages for this movie to show since yonks ago. Then, expect the unexpected, Murphy came and kacau kacau. My final exam was so happened to fall on the day after the opening night. Niamah! So, what to do, endure till the nightmare ended lor.

The first thing I did once getting out of the forbidden jungle was watch the movie. Everyone was giving it thumbs up, toes up, everything also up so I die die also must watch. Well, I am a big fansee of Marvel Heroes anyway. Spiderman, X-Men, Superman, Batman, Fantastic Four, whatelse have been my favourite since young and I practically grew up with them.

As expected, there were a lot of twists in the third Spiderman movie. So better be prepared to expect the unexpected. Nah, no spoiler here. Better watch the movie yourselves to know what I meant. One thing I do not understand is that how come the bad guys in the movie are so damn good-looking??? But I seriously do not like Peter Parker for no particular reason. Oh, and I love the black suit Spiderman!

Bank for all

Why is it every time when you are in urgent need of some cash, the ATM machine is either out of service or out of cash? Murphy's Law is being obeyed again like the law of gravitational force. In other words, Murphy's Law is simply saying that SHIT DOES HAPPEN in a more gentle and long-winded way.

Speaking of bank, here was a conversation between Alvin and his dad at Damai Resort:

Uncle: ...now they come up with this CIMB.

Alvin: Yalah, last time people had this mentality that Bumiputera Commerce is for bumiputeras only. Do you know what CIMB stands for?

Uncle: Commerce International Merchant Bankers (CIMB) Bhd.
Alvin: No! CIMB stands for Chinese Indian Malay Bank.
Uncle: ................*speechless*
Alvin: Chinese, Indian, Malay all can use this bank. Not only bumiputera, you know...
Uncle: Hahahahahahahahhahahahha!!!

"There is nothing as deceptive as an obvious fact." -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle-

Some twisted facts of the century:-

• On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
• Most people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
• Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
• A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
• Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
• Only one person in 2 billion will live to be 116 years or older.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
• "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• Cat's urine glows under a black light.
• In 1970, a group of people were arrested at Highgate cemetry for intent to harm...a vampire! The vampire is rumoured to still be around today.
• Prisoners in a California jail were so spooked by an Ouija board they made that priests were called in to cast out demons. The convicts had summoned up spirits, including a woman who told them how she was murdered.
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out the body, it squirts 30 feet.
• On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
• After complaining about the smell in their room, a couple staying in a hotel in the US discovered the body of a murdered girl under the bed.
• It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
• Ants always fall over on their right side when intoxicated.
• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
  
• Starfish have no brain.
• Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
• The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.
• There are more chickens than people in the world.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
• In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
• In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
• It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• In every episode of Seinfield, there is a Superman somewhere.
• In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.
• Almonds are member of the peach family.
• A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
• Horses and rats can't vomit.
• In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
• Accidental deaths caused by Physicians in a year are 120,000.
• A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
• The Amityville films of the 70s, about a house full of ghostly activities, were based on a true story.
• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
• If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
• Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Dedication to mum: Happy Ni Lao Bu Day!

No, no, no! Before you accuse me of displaying vulgarity, just a simple introduction here:

Happy Ni Lao Bu Day = Happy Mothers' Day!!!

At 11.40am today, an SMS from mum arrived saying:

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"...The whole world wished me Happy Mothers' Dat except my own babe..."

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Sorry, mum, I was very busy doing last minute information absorbing process before my Employee Benefit Management exam today. Exam started at 12.15 noon. You know I am a well-known procrastinator. I was thinking of calling you after the exam and wish you but your message arrived first. Hahaha!!!

Anyway, today being your special day, what are the plans dad and bro has for you? Too bad I couldn't be there all because of the stupid final exam! Well, I hope you have a wonderful day today. I miss you so much!

On this special day, I would like to extent my bottomless gratitude for everything that you have done for us from the moment we were conceived until now. Yes, now that we are both grown up, in our early 20s, we are glad that you brought us up to who we are today. Because of you and your love, we have never gone astray or beyond hope.

One thing I admire about you is your strength and faith which are inseparable. People told me that you are a strong woman. You stand firm and steadfast even when there were storm and chaos all around you. I have never seen you stumble or fall. You took everything as a trial from God. Your faith in God is so strong that I believe nothing could ever shake or take that faith away from you. I vowed to be as strong and independent as you.

You always say that I have a bad-temper. I am learning to control them. You have also said that being humble will eventually bring me to achieve dreams that I've been struggling to reach. You taught me a lot, which I will remember as significant lessons in live.

Mums love to nag. That is a well-known fact. Mums worry a lot. Another popular fact. And they worry too much over nothing at all. Yeah, for being mum and all that, mothering instinct rules all. Sometimes we find their naggings annoying and tend to shut them out. But when you are far from home, you'll miss their nagging somehow. And we wouldn't mind their nagging when we were home anyway. The naggings are always for our own good.

Last but not least, thank you mum for being there for us. I love you. May God continues to bless you with health and wisdom in your body, mind and soul. I made this prayer in Jesus's name. Amen.

Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers in the world!!!

Walking Down Memory Lane: Cheryl (Part 1)

When I was in Kuching, I met up with my best friend, Cheryl, whom I have known for 15 years.

Yours truly with childhood friend, Cheryl

We went out for a lim teh session after dinner one evening, just to catch up with each other. We last seen each other during Chinese New Year in Sibu and she's been so busy with her work ever since. As I was craving so badly for that particular drink I saw on someone's blog, we went to this place called Huising Hawker stall to talk cock.

The White Lady and the lady in white

Click over to my other blog to know more about the drink. Two thumbs up for the icy cold drink. 15 sticks of pork satay followed and some other things that ended up in my tummy to be digested, all in my other blog.

Anyway, back to Cheryl. We first known each other on the second day of school in Primary One, SRB St. Rita (all girls' school). Why second day? Well, simply because I knew no one on the first day of school and was minding my own business all day, even at the tuition in the afternoon but I noticed one girl in school uniform at the tuition class. As innocent as I could get then, I was wondering why she was in school uniform after school and why couldn't she just changed her clothes like everyone else.

I saw her again the next day at school and was surprised that we were classmates! I went, "Eii??? You were the one at the tuition yesterday afternoon right?" She smiled and said, "Ya hor, you were also at the tuition yesterday afternoon" and we became friends, best friends ever since.

We played together during recess, went to the canteen together, shared the food our moms packed for us during recess, went to the toilet together, copied each other's homework, went for our morning prayers together, etc. She was a bit plump and I was skinny like cicak back then but she sure ran faster than me! We played the usual games that kids our age played, i.e. the aeroplane, rope skipping, eagle and chicken, police and thief, dragon catch, ABC stop, etc and plump little Cheryl beat me in all the games.

Even in sports. We were both chosen to represent the whole Primary Two in long jump during Sports Day. You guessed it, she beat me in that again! LOL! She got the 7th position and I was not far behind. I was in the 8th position. I was not even a bit angry when she beat me in sports and games. I did not know the meaning of envy yet.

Food at the canteen back then were so cheap. We could get two packets Hiong Hiong Mee for 10 cents. That was when the sharing came in. As we were not given much pocket money back then because we usually brought something from home, one of us would go to the canteen and bought 2 packets of that Hiong Hiong Mee and gave one packet to the other. The following day, the other would do the same. I couldn't recall how it started but it seemed like an unwritten sharing among the two of us.

We were very good friends and the other classmates were so envious of us that some Iban girls started to call us lovers. LOL! We were so close that eventually our families got to know each other's family and became friends. Our moms shares their cooking and baking recipes and gardening skills, even until today - her mom specializes in baking biscuit and cakes while my mom specializes in making fruit jelly.

Cheryl and I practically grew up together. We were classmates since Primary One until Form Five. She's one of my friends that I've known all my life. She knows me inside out and vice versa. We know each other so well that when it comes to our personal flaws, we would just accept them as a part of ourselves which make us different from each other.

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On the side note:
OMG!!! I sounded like a lesbo in this post!

5 down, 1 more to go

Just finished my blardy 5th paper this morning which was Property and Liability Insurance II. Thanks to those who wished me luck because I really need the LUCK for this paper. FYI, I have no confidence in this paper at all.

You see, for the whole semester, we sat through sucky presentations by different groups on different chapters covering the whole syllabus for the semester. As I've said earlier, students just love to cramp everything from an American version textbook into the slides making the presentation meaningless. I don't understand the book at all, never mind them. But what they did was trying to be smart and include all the useless information i.e. US law, US exclusions in their insurance policies, US provisions in their insurance policy, limitations in the US insurance policies, etc. Hello? We are studying the Property and Liability Insurance of MALAYSIA, why the hell you went and put all those useless information? It is not like we are all going to live in US of A one day! Well, some people are just as DUNGU as you can imagine!

Anyway, back to the exam, when I went through (yeah, right!) the notes this morning at around 7am (yes, I am a procrastinator, I study last minute, really last minute - exam started at 8.30am) I could not understand a word of the things that I read. The only similarity that caught my attention in almost every type of liability insurance available is "bodily injury and property damage". And that was all I know.

I looked at the questions in amazement. I glanced over at Foo Kiat and saw him shaking his head and sighing every now and then. I knew everyone in the room must be having the same thought. We've been screwed! Six questions were asked (and I mean REALLY 6 questions only, with no sub-questions like any other structured questions might have) each carrying minimum 15 marks, the rest 15, 16, 16, 18 and 20 marks. You say, ridiculous or not? And I was crapping less than 50% of the page for that minimum 15 marks! There were seriously nothing to write about! I wonder how the hell Mr Shahrul marks our answer scripts.

*shakes head*

Nothing much could be done even though almost everyone was complaining. We've just been screwed! Big time! Ah, well, I've sat for 5 papers, that means ONE more to go before I get the hell out of here. Employee Benefit Management. I wonder what the hell is there to manage anyway since the employee and employer must contribute to EPF and also SOCSO as imposed by the government. Well, you know, education system in Malaysia really suck big time. It really screws undergrads! We have to take a course on Takaful, Reinsurance, Employee Benefit Management and the likes for one whole blardy semester when the things we need to know about that particular course are common sense/general knowledge. Some people just do not have cow sense!

Pardon my rantings. Lack of sleep due to last minute process of absorbing-as-much-information-as-you-can really got me short-tempered. Time to hit the bed now!

Let's together gether become PIRATES at Cineleisure

On Thursday, 24th May 2007, the world is about to witness the first ever bloggers' movie night together gether as a big family of pirates!

I was napping soundly just now after squeezing my brain through Risk Management exam this morning. A call woke me up from my royal slumber.

Clare: [mumbling sleepily] Hello?
Caller: Hello, may I speak to Clare please?
Clare: [still sleepy] Yes, speaking.
Caller: I'm calling from Nuffnang and you have just got yourself free ticket to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3 on 24th May.
Clare: [fully awake now] Oh...
Caller: And (don't know what what what)....you got yourself 2 tickets for the movie. That means you are allowed to bring a date to the movie.
Clare: Mmm...hmm
Caller: All you have to do is send an email to pirates@nuffnang.com and tell us your date's name.
Clare: Okay. I'll do it tonight.
Caller: Okay, and we'll reserve 2 tickets for you then.
Clare: Thank you.

I thought I was dreaming! After pinching myself hard and double-checked my received call, it was indeed true! Then slowly it sank in: I JUST GOT MYSELF TICKETS TO THE OPENING NIGHT OF PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3!!!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Did I mention that we are going to watch the movie as pirates? Yes, we are supposed to dress up as PIRATES for the Best Dressed Pirate Contest on the night itself. The prize? A 3D2N trip for two to Singapore (transport and accommodation included)

It would be like a pirates' party, no? I am so looking forward to it! Thank you, Nuffnang!

Who else is going?

*Ps: Who wants to go with me???*

"New and Improved!" Somebody kill me!

People usually do not give a damn on catchy quotes of advertisements, do they? We are well aware of Nike's Just Do It, M&M's Melt In Your Mouth, Not In Your Hand, just to name a couple. Catchy? Yes. That's the whole purpose of adertisement, duh! But claiming your product/service to be "New And Improved" has proven something, don't you think?

The conversation between Alvin and his dad in the car:

Uncle: There are a lot of stupid people nowadays lah. Look at Kuching drivers.

Alvin: Not only Kuching drivers. A lot more stupid people came up with something stupid all the time. You see, what the hell is 'New and Improved'? If the thing is new, it has not been there before. If it is improved, it must have been there before. You say right or not?

Uncle: *think for a while* True also.

Alvin: One more funny thing is that why people always point at their wrist when asking the time and never point to their crotch when asking the whereabout of the toilet?

Uncle: Hahaha! True, true.

Hmm! It got me thinking. There are indeed a lot of stupid stuff that people did and yet would never be understood. For example, a lot of people would get up and search frantically the entire room/house just for that TV remote control because they are just too lazy to walk a few step over to the TV and switch the channels manually.

Back to the 'New and Improved' sentiment, those who came up with that should be shot in the head and fed to the sharks. It would sound better with "Revised and Improved". Ah well, some people just do not get it.

Why are some people prone to Murphy's Law?

Murphy's Law states that:

"Whatever that can go wrong, will go wrong."

Huh? Now, who the heck is Murphy? Must be something of an urban legend, huh, since most people recognized the law. I have no idea and am not interested to know him. He is probably dead anyway.

Well, the prime axiom of the law is that in any field of scientific endeavour you can think of, anthing that can go wrong, will go wrong. And it will happen when you least expect it to happen or in most cases when you do not want it to happen at all.

Back to the question. Why are some people so prone to Murpy's Law? They tend to obey Murphy's Law better than other people. For instance, you took leave and planned to go on a holiday with your girlfriend and hoped that nothing in the company will go wrong during our absence. Murphy's Law just love to strike during your absence. While you were away enjoying your time with your girl, an urgent call from your company asking you to fix something because something went wrong. You cursed all the while when doing the repairing job from the place you were holidaying because Murphy was playing with you.

Life must be hell for those who are prone to Murphy's Law. They get all the 'bad luck' and cannot do anything about it simply because Murphy just love them, doesn't he? Well, you can curse like nobody's business at Murphy but he just won't leave you alone. Frustrating? Tell me about it. We all eperienced Murphy's Law once in a while in life. I am sure you know how it feels like.

Has it ever occur to you that why your queue seem to move the slowest? Why you only see the rear of the bus going away every time you reach the bus stop? Your team scored the second you take your eyes off the TV/go to the bathroom/leave the room? The TV break down/Astro reception not good due to rain when you have been waiting all week for that favourite show of yours to be aired? Why the toast always landed butter-side down? Do you find that whenever you are running late, everything tends to be in your way or slowing you down? Just to name a few.

The Murphy's Law that I experienced all the time would be when it comes to boarding the aeroplane. No flight ever leave on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate down the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it will inevitably be a delayed/cancelled flight. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the toilet. Crying/screaming baby on board will always be seated next/nearest to you. The most handsome/beautiful/gorgeous man/woman in the flight is never seated next to you. The less the hand-carry luggage space available on the plane, the more the hand-carry luggage passengers will carry on board.

Is Murphy's law a form of bad luck or is it based on scientific principles? Is it significant in our life? Why do we have it when we don't want it? We can curse like no tomorrow but Murphy's Law is there to stay whether we like it or not. Sigh!

The road not taken

How often have you pondered over the decision that you made in life which brings you to where you are today? How many times you actually think "If only I've chosen the other option..."? Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side, we pressumed. But we will never know for sure because, well, we couldn't really travel both journey at once, no?

Many times, I have been thinking about the other path which I did not take and where would it bring me if I took it. It took me a long journey to end up in a local university. The journey was not a smooth one, no doubt. But I survived. I survived the weeds, thorns, leeches, rocky path, rain and shine along the journey. I stumbled, fell flat on my face, tripped, etc too but nobody was there to help me up. Well, I learnt to get myself up, brush off the dirt and continue walking. As predicted, there would be stones, spears and arrows shot at me from all directions but, ah well, life is too short to deal with each of them.

So after the SPM in Form Five, my friends and I were discussing our plans for the future. I was determined to become a doctor then so I did my best in my SPM with the will to study medicine after that. Scholarship was in mind. When the result was out, I was quite satisfied even though I did not score a straight A1s. My science subjects mattered then. I scanned down my result slip nervously. Additional Maths - A2, Chemistry - A2, Physics - A2 and Biology - A2. Thank goodness! Bahasa Melayu - A1, English - A1, Matematik - A1, Pengetahuan Moral - A1. Wooh! But the B3 I got for Sejarah made my slip looked ugly!

I thought I could enter a private college with a bit of scholarship with that result. But. There's a BUT in everything, don't ask me why. But my parents were against my decision. They wanted me to slave my ass away in Form Six. Frankly speaking, I wasn't really keen on the idea of studying Form Six. Well, I got the usual "we are your parents, we know what is good for you. Now obediently go to Form Six for your own good." And obediently I obliged.

Having to put aside my plan to get my arse into Curtin then was putting me in a down mode. The two years I spent in Form Six was for the sake of being there because my parents wanted me to. I hate studying. But who am I to argue, right? I hated my life in Form Six where there were a lot of obstacles along the way. I switched from Biology class to Physics class simply because I had to memorize the oh-so-long names of different microorganisms. I prefer playing with E=MC square. So I abandoned my plan to take up medicine and looking forward to take up engineering instead. Looking back at those days, I did not blame my parents for forcing me to study in Form Six even though I did badly in my STPM to rebel.

I am who I am today because of staying back in Form Six and witnessed the un-professional, un-realistic and ir-rational way people were doing their job. All those taught me what to and not to do when facing certain situation. The then principal Mr. Stephen Tan was a heck of a principal and I had a lot of fun during his 'ruling'. I learnt a lot from the way Mr. Tan handled students and teachers alike in a lot of situations. He gained my full respect. This is the humble man I look up to to be successful in life.

Despite my bad result in STPM, surprisingly, I was offered a place to study Risk Management and Insurance in UUM. I wanted to study Aeronautical Engineering in the first place but acknowledging the sucky result that I got, I had to put that aside and continue with what was offered. Risk management and insurance is not really that bad, I realized, after taking the course for two years now.

Looking back, what if I was to study in a private college (Curtin University, for example)? Where would I be today? What would I be doing? What if I chose to study aeronautical engineering privately after STPM? I wouldn't be ranting about risk, would I? Aircraft would be my subject, no? Where would I be now? What would I be doing? I bet blogging would not be my favourite past time because I stumbled upon the blogsphere only a semester after I entered UUM.

If I've chosen the other journey in life, I would not be able to expand my circle of friends especially those from the blogsphere that I managed to meet in person. Therefore, as much as I love to complain and rant about my life in this sucky (there I go again) place, I have no complains whatsoever about my life, friends, new friends especially bloggers, etc.

I suppose the grass is not greener on the other side if you have the chance to go to the other side. My perspectives changed it to THE GRASS YOU STEP ON IS ALWAYS THE GREENEST!

F-A-T, B-O-R-E-D, G-E-T-M-E-O-U-T-T-A-H-E-R-E

Being fed with 2 meals of Kolo Mee a day for a week and tell me whether you get F-A-T around the tummy area (or arms, or butt for that matter) or not?

Thanks to Alvin for feeding me non-stop with lard-laden food all the time! Also to Uncle and Auntie Chong who insisted me to "Chiak chiak chiak" and "make yourself at home" during meals! *bawls* How the hell can I resist food???

When I am in UUM, I EAT TO LIVE but once I get the hell outta here, I LIVE TO EAT!!!

The modes are interchangable. Everything seems inedible without lard or pork here and therefore the eating just to survive. You must be thinking 'that bad huh?' Yes, it is. Being stuck here with those kind of food for two years - same taste, same name, same price, same food - you say sien or not lah!?!

Hopefully I can lose the unwanted flabby tummy before I left. In the mean time, still waiting to sit for the remaining blardy 4 papers. They so happened to be of insurance paper: Insurance Company Operation, Risk Management, Property and Liability Insurance, Employee Benefit Management. Can die lah!

Since I do not have exam everyday, life has been bored. Life has been routine here especially during exams because we do not attend lectures already. Waking up at noon is nothing to be bragged about. Having lunch at 3pm is so common. Going back to sleep after that would be a routine. Waking up just in time for dinner before falling back to sleep till noon the next day is something that everyone is doing. Maybe not everyone. Maybe it is just me. LOL!!!

*fingers cross*

Fast fast finish the damn exam and get out of here!

*dreaming* ~Kim Gary's French Toast & Yin Yong, KFC's Original Recipe Chicken & Coleslaw, Secret Recipe's Chocolate Indulgence & New York Cheese, McD's Double Cheese Burger, Kuching Kolo Mee, Sibu Kampua, midin, Sarawak Laksa, Buntal Seafood, etc....damn! I want those food!

F-A-T, exhausted, 2 down 4 to go

Was having eating marathon ever since the plane touchdown at the Kuching Internatioal Airport until I left the cat city. Meow~

Had my first dinner at The Banquet. Ordered lamb chop but the portion was so little that I had my first Kolo Mee for supper a few hours later. The whole week when I was at the cat city, I had Kolo Mee for breakfast and supper EVERYDAY and I was not complaining. I was fed with pork, pork and more pork from the moment I opened my eyes till the moment I close my eyes but I was not complaining. In fact, I was thankful for that. Well, as a pork-deprived person, I'd swallow at anything containing pork, sinfully or not. And I felt a lot smarter after consuming those pork!

The very next morning after arriving, my first take on the Laksa that I've been craving for since god-knows-when was heavenly. I gorged down a bowl and a half of Laksa like no tomorrow and there were still rooms for some You Char Kuay dipped in kaya. Oh, I wish I have those pictures to post them up. I'll do it as soon as possible.

It has been 4 days since I left the land of head-hunters and I've been complaining ever since. I whined about missing Kolo Mee and Laksa less than 24 hours after I got here. Anyway, what I miss most are those homecooked dishes by Uncle Chong - Yong Taufu dipped in Auntie Chong's chilli sauce. Heaven! Also Grandma's Chicken Curry and Ginger Chicken as well as her chilli sauce. Double heaven!

Back to pork-deprived self after coming back to the jungle, I felt a lot stupider without pork. How the hell am I gonna pass the blardy exam without pork??? *wails*

Oh by the way, I survived through two papers for the past 2 consecutive days. I realized that I sent in 12 pages of bullshits for my Business Law paper which would only mean one thing: DIE! Seriously, I did not study for that paper at all and you know how law paper can be. I stared blankly at the paper for the first 10 minutes and then decided to be a law creator myself. Therefore, I created my own law, created the section under the specified act...and man, could I be a better crapper!

Then yesterday was the Computer Application for Management paper which I pressumed to be a piece of cake but it turned out that it was not. My notes looked easy with a picture of a computer and the names of its different parts like monitor, mouse, keyboard, CPU, etc. I thought something as easy would come out. Instead they asked to state 2 functions of the CPU, the 2 types of images, how to create a bitmap image, etc thing like that. I just did not know! I could answer the Internet part pretty easily because I use that everyday. Eg: Function of URL, list the Internet services, etc. I admit of being a computer illiterate, so sue me!

I need more pork for the remaining 4 papers!

Why Is The Rum Gone?

What rum?

How do I know? I just received an email from The Boss himself about posting this so that I can get a free ticket for the opening night of Pirates of the Carribean 3. It will be on the 24th May and Nuffnang has booked the entire hall in Cineleisure Damansara for this. I'll coincidentally be in KL (near The Curve) around that time and hope to get the free ticket. Timothy, I want to watch the movie! *extends hand to Timothy*

Oh yeah, about the rum...hmm... *thinking hard*

I guess the rum has been finished by Captain Jack Sparrow and since he's a bit ding dong, he won't realise it, no?

Posed with nothing but towel, 16-year-old pic, rapping and now what?

Fuyoohh~!!! First, she posted a picture posing on the bed without a thread on except for a piece of towel. Later on, she posted a picture of herself when she was 16. Things are getting excited when she rapped!!! I actually choked when I heard that initially.

I really salute this Lao Zha Bor for daring to do it at such age. For her, age is no barrier. Can you imagine your grandma having a blog? I'm already happy that my mum reads my blog. If my grandma can switch on the computer without coaching, I think pigs can fly!!! No offence, grandma...but she won't be reading this anyway.

Guess what's lao zha bor up to?

POSING IN A ONE-PIECE SWIMSUIT WITH BLOWN-UP CONDOMS DOING POOL DANCE IN THE SWIMMING POOL!!!

*faints*

Presentation before getting the hell out of here

19th April 2007 - The Presentation

There was a presentation this day for Employee Benefit Management and my group was to present on Social Insurance: Malaysia vs Cyprus. I only received the slides the other group members had done the day before and I was horrified to see the rubbish and junk they had created out of it. I told them I'd like to re-do the whole thing A.S.A.P. and email it to them right after I finished. I headed to the computer lab right away and started working on the slides. It took me 2 hours to get it done. Well, some people just love to shove everything into the slides so that they could just read the text off the slides with all the pronounciation mistakes monotonously till I puke!

We volunteered to present second to see how the first group done their presentation. I think Ahmad just wanted to boost some ego and gain confidence before our turn. I admitted that our group did a pretty great job in our presentation (not trying to be lansi) because we managed to put up some a-few-seconds funny movie clips before we started. We cracked the class. That gained some credits I think. The 3 guys who presented before me weren't too bad but they say the last is always left for the best *damn kembang* When it came to my turn, I just rattled on with ease trying not to sound too English (as if) Haha! So I added some -lah initially but the -lah just didn't seem to blend, so I did not attempt to add them in anymore.

After finished bla bla bla-ing, came the Q&A session which I quite feared because I did not do my homework on the topic and my knowledge was limited to the part that I presented. I was hoping for my group members to take over the session but Mdm Arpah inisted that we answered in English when Ahmad wanted to answer in BM. He was struggling to answer the questions in English and that was when the hero, in this case, heroine, ME came to the rescue! LOL!!!

I knew nuts about what was going on or the questions asked but I didn't let that show on my face. Setting the debator mode in me, I managed to answer most of the questions, which were not in the scope of the slides (mostly asked by Ah Fat), without blinking. Luckily I knew enough crap to get me through that! Hahahaha!!! Well, I got a few thumbs up for my so-called 'brilliant' answers! *double kembang*

After we were done, we went back to our seat and were greeted by a round of applause. I was told that Mdm Arpah announced that she'd given us the highest mark of 19/20 for our presentation. HOORAYYY!!! *triple kembang* I was pretty pleased with that because I really did not expect to get such high marks for presentation, especially group presentation.