Presentation before getting the hell out of here

19th April 2007 - The Presentation

There was a presentation this day for Employee Benefit Management and my group was to present on Social Insurance: Malaysia vs Cyprus. I only received the slides the other group members had done the day before and I was horrified to see the rubbish and junk they had created out of it. I told them I'd like to re-do the whole thing A.S.A.P. and email it to them right after I finished. I headed to the computer lab right away and started working on the slides. It took me 2 hours to get it done. Well, some people just love to shove everything into the slides so that they could just read the text off the slides with all the pronounciation mistakes monotonously till I puke!

We volunteered to present second to see how the first group done their presentation. I think Ahmad just wanted to boost some ego and gain confidence before our turn. I admitted that our group did a pretty great job in our presentation (not trying to be lansi) because we managed to put up some a-few-seconds funny movie clips before we started. We cracked the class. That gained some credits I think. The 3 guys who presented before me weren't too bad but they say the last is always left for the best *damn kembang* When it came to my turn, I just rattled on with ease trying not to sound too English (as if) Haha! So I added some -lah initially but the -lah just didn't seem to blend, so I did not attempt to add them in anymore.

After finished bla bla bla-ing, came the Q&A session which I quite feared because I did not do my homework on the topic and my knowledge was limited to the part that I presented. I was hoping for my group members to take over the session but Mdm Arpah inisted that we answered in English when Ahmad wanted to answer in BM. He was struggling to answer the questions in English and that was when the hero, in this case, heroine, ME came to the rescue! LOL!!!

I knew nuts about what was going on or the questions asked but I didn't let that show on my face. Setting the debator mode in me, I managed to answer most of the questions, which were not in the scope of the slides (mostly asked by Ah Fat), without blinking. Luckily I knew enough crap to get me through that! Hahahaha!!! Well, I got a few thumbs up for my so-called 'brilliant' answers! *double kembang*

After we were done, we went back to our seat and were greeted by a round of applause. I was told that Mdm Arpah announced that she'd given us the highest mark of 19/20 for our presentation. HOORAYYY!!! *triple kembang* I was pretty pleased with that because I really did not expect to get such high marks for presentation, especially group presentation.

Your Engrand so the very powder, I don't understanding

*Groan*

Alright, alright, I know, I know. This topic has been my latest obsession to reason unknown. I am being my usual mean self again. When I looked into the mirror just now, I can literally see two horns on my head and a cunning smile on my face. LOL~!

**The incidents mentioned were all true stories and names has not been changed to purposely poke fun at the parties involved.

Here are some of the main characters in most of the incidents that I'm about to mention:

Vivien

Shirley

and yours truly

Incident #1: (During a debate competition)

In her opening speech,
Vivien: A very good morning/evening to Madam Speakers, de opposites sides and de governments sides and de ladies and gentleman...
Clare: *slaps head*

Incident #2: (During a debate competition)

During her speech on the banning of homosexuality in sex education in school,
Vivien: ...in sex education at school we usually not teaching about how to doing sexing activities...
Clare: *winced* [whispered to Fazlin, the first speaker] What the hell was that???
Fazlin: [whispered back] Shh...never mind. Learning...learning...*smile*
Vivien: ...homosexolidy must be ban because its somettings that will confusing teenagers...
Clare: *barely alive* [whispered to Fazlin] You do the reply speech, I am having a 'culture shock' here...
Fazlin: Haha! Ok!
Vivien: And about de Jessie Chung and Joshua marriage, de opposites sides saids that de marriage is legal but de marriage is NOT registered!

Incident #3: (On the way back to UUM)

The President was telling a joke,
Fatehah: There was this debate where the Chairlady called the house to order...
The rest of us: Uh huh...
Fatehah: ...and there was this guy, a debator, raised his hand and said "Teh tarik satu"...
The rest of us: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!! (for the next 10 minutes)

After that everybody was chatting away for approximately 10 minutes until...
Shirley: Hey, hey, GUYS! Listen! I have something to tell you!
The rest of us: ...yadda yadda yadda...
Shirley: Guys! Listen to me for three seconds...!
The rest of us: Yes?
Shirley: FATEHAH IS STILL EXPLAINING TO VIVIEN ABOUT THE TEH TARIK JOKE!!!
The rest of us: *turned to look at them and...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!! (for another 10 minutes)

After the 10 minutes laughter, we kept quiet to hear the last part of the explanation given by Fatehah,
Fatehah: ...and the guy ordered a teh tarik lah...
Vivien: [monotonous] Like dat also can ah...~?
The rest of us: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA...!!!

*wiping away tears*

Never in my life I've laughed so hard! As much as they annoy the hell out of me, sometimes people with the Engrish level very the powder really make my day. SALUTE~!!! Champion lah, I tell you. She is the Champion lah~!

Some people are so clever, I don't know what they are trying to say...

I was blogging and chatting per usual in the computer lab when I let my eyes wandered while waiting for some pages to load with the oh-so-slow connection. My eyes stopped at the monitor of the computer on my right. A Malay girl was there doing her assignment. But the thing that she typed into her assignment caught my attention and being my usual mean self, I couldn't help but quote some of her masterpiece to be shared with the rest of the world.

Her masterpiece was too precious not to be revealed. It would be viewed only by her lecturer, I presumed, which would be such a waste, don't you think? Somehow, with slight difficulty, I managed to quote a few sentences that I found amusing because they caught me jaw hanging open.

She started off with "My Biography" under which she described about herself:

"My name is xxxxxxxx binti xxxxxx. I'm from aaaaaaa, live at bbbbbb. I'm studying since I'm 5 years old at XXX kindergarden. I'm studying at SRK XXXX and SMK XXXX. "

"I like to eat fruits because its good for our healthy."

"My favourite novels XXX, YYY and Bicara Hati because the story very feeling for myself..."

"My hobbies is listening the radio, ..."

I stopped right there and then because I couldn't contain my laughter.

She concluded this section with a:
"About me, I'm friendly persons, disiplin and like make joking with my friends."

Next came the "My Family" section where I couldn't see very well after the sentence:
"My sister is 8 years old and she still stydy..."

because my eyes were tearing for laughing too much after reading the first section.

When describing about the course she's taking, which I presumed as Communication, she said:

"The communication I enjoyed it and its was a very interesting subject..."

For the final section which was "My Dreams", I only managed to catch glimpse of this:
"I hope after I'm graduated, I can help our society to forward..."
because I almost dropped myself from the chair with uncontrolled laughter.

What the hell were all THAT??? Somebody KILL ME!!!

Pardon me for being mean, I couldn't help it! I don't mean to humiliate her in a way or another in this post or any other posts to come. This is just to enlighten those who are still in the dark, that a lot of university students especially those from the university I am currently in, are still using this kind of English. Their level of English, I tell you, *shakes head*. When they read from prepared text, you'd feel like vomiting blood and hope that someone will just throw you off the building. I'm serious!

Now do you still wonder why unemployment rate among graduates is sky-high in this country???

*None of the words or spelling of the quotes have been changed.