Kampua Talk: The road not taken

Kampua Talk

Sunday, May 06, 2007

The road not taken

How often have you pondered over the decision that you made in life which brings you to where you are today? How many times you actually think "If only I've chosen the other option..."? Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side, we pressumed. But we will never know for sure because, well, we couldn't really travel both journey at once, no?
Many times, I have been thinking about the other path which I did not take and where would it bring me if I took it. It took me a long journey to end up in a local university. The journey was not a smooth one, no doubt. But I survived. I survived the weeds, thorns, leeches, rocky path, rain and shine along the journey. I stumbled, fell flat on my face, tripped, etc too but nobody was there to help me up. Well, I learnt to get myself up, brush off the dirt and continue walking. As predicted, there would be stones, spears and arrows shot at me from all directions but, ah well, life is too short to deal with each of them.
So after the SPM in Form Five, my friends and I were discussing our plans for the future. I was determined to become a doctor then so I did my best in my SPM with the will to study medicine after that. Scholarship was in mind. When the result was out, I was quite satisfied even though I did not score a straight A1s. My science subjects mattered then. I scanned down my result slip nervously. Additional Maths - A2, Chemistry - A2, Physics - A2 and Biology - A2. Thank goodness! Bahasa Melayu - A1, English - A1, Matematik - A1, Pengetahuan Moral - A1. Wooh! But the B3 I got for Sejarah made my slip looked ugly!
I thought I could enter a private college with a bit of scholarship with that result. But. There's a BUT in everything, don't ask me why. But my parents were against my decision. They wanted me to slave my ass away in Form Six. Frankly speaking, I wasn't really keen on the idea of studying Form Six. Well, I got the usual "we are your parents, we know what is good for you. Now obediently go to Form Six for your own good." And obediently I obliged.
Having to put aside my plan to get my arse into Curtin then was putting me in a down mode. The two years I spent in Form Six was for the sake of being there because my parents wanted me to. I hate studying. But who am I to argue, right? I hated my life in Form Six where there were a lot of obstacles along the way. I switched from Biology class to Physics class simply because I had to memorize the oh-so-long names of different microorganisms. I prefer playing with E=MC square. So I abandoned my plan to take up medicine and looking forward to take up engineering instead. Looking back at those days, I did not blame my parents for forcing me to study in Form Six even though I did badly in my STPM to rebel.
I am who I am today because of staying back in Form Six and witnessed the un-professional, un-realistic and ir-rational way people were doing their job. All those taught me what to and not to do when facing certain situation. The then principal Mr. Stephen Tan was a heck of a principal and I had a lot of fun during his 'ruling'. I learnt a lot from the way Mr. Tan handled students and teachers alike in a lot of situations. He gained my full respect. This is the humble man I look up to to be successful in life.
Despite my bad result in STPM, surprisingly, I was offered a place to study Risk Management and Insurance in UUM. I wanted to study Aeronautical Engineering in the first place but acknowledging the sucky result that I got, I had to put that aside and continue with what was offered. Risk management and insurance is not really that bad, I realized, after taking the course for two years now.
Looking back, what if I was to study in a private college (Curtin University, for example)? Where would I be today? What would I be doing? What if I chose to study aeronautical engineering privately after STPM? I wouldn't be ranting about risk, would I? Aircraft would be my subject, no? Where would I be now? What would I be doing? I bet blogging would not be my favourite past time because I stumbled upon the blogsphere only a semester after I entered UUM.
If I've chosen the other journey in life, I would not be able to expand my circle of friends especially those from the blogsphere that I managed to meet in person. Therefore, as much as I love to complain and rant about my life in this sucky (there I go again) place, I have no complains whatsoever about my life, friends, new friends especially bloggers, etc.
I suppose the grass is not greener on the other side if you have the chance to go to the other side. My perspectives changed it to THE GRASS YOU STEP ON IS ALWAYS THE GREENEST!

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Anonymous Rose said...

wow.. your SPM results so good eh :P

yup.. i must admit what u said.. the grass that we step on is always the greenest :)

12:38 AM  
Blogger ^@lViN^ said...

Nicely written. Two thumbs up. Well, either way, there is always pros and cons. The road you have taken now, it gave you its own goodness and badness. Probably if you had taken the other path, you might get more fortune or misfortune, but like you said, we wouldn't know since we didn't travel that path.

To me, each path is unique and each path you take leads you to a different thing. No one else in life can lead the exact same life you do, which makes the path you chose unique. Once you take a path, never look back and wonder what if... Remember the ultimate saying, life is simple, you make a decision and never look back. ;)

9:38 AM  
Blogger zewt said...

this is indeed the road not taken. your results in SPM was superb... why la go and screw up your STPM? and i must say... doing aeronautical engineering would have been much better than doing risk and insurance.

in life, always make the decision for yourself, dont do it for anyone else. just look at how many ppl out there who do accounts and business.... rest assured, 80% of them are doing it becos they think such subjects give them a lot of money. and 80% of that will realised they will not be making much money at all.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Jannah said...


Which ever road you're taking, know that you have come to this juncture on your own terms.

Heck you could have gotten great results for your STPM but still end up in UUM if somehow fate wants you to benefit from the free WiFi here.

So march onwards and don't look back. Looking back would somehow indirectly bring about regret, and that ain't a nice thing to be fretting about.

Good luck for the finals :)

11:50 PM  
Blogger CLare said...

rose - thanks :)

^@lvin^ - Wisely said as ever. But as always, easier said than done. Human nature tends to look back on things that we have and have not done.

zewt - I also don't know why I screwed up my STPM. LOL! :) Yupe, I'd very much prefer aeronautics to what I'm currently studying.

jannah - Free Wifi? Only in certain areas which makes me frustrated all the time. Summore the wifi sometimes sucks! I'd be flying if there's wifi in our room!

1:44 PM  
Anonymous bengbeng said...

wow, this is by far the deepest stuff u have written.i understand yr sentiments

7:33 PM  

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