L-O-V-E

To me, its just another four-letter word. But I always heard lovetorn/lovestruck/lovewhatever people say something like:

If you love something/someone, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

IMHO, that's bullshit! The saying was created to cheat oneself into believing that he/she/it will regret his/her/its decision to be set free and come back to you one day. What does he/she/it thinks you are? Hotel ar? Suka suka then check-in, suka suka then check-out?

Anyhow, they never finished the saying. Yes, there's a next part of it which people would not like to hear because (DUH!) people just do not like to hear what they do not like to hear, get it? Anyway, the whole thing should sound like this:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your house, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

The Green-Eyed Monster

Being in a relationship with an easily jealous person is tough. When you talk to other guys, he'll stare at you with that sharp look that's going to slice you into pieces, literally. They say, if looks can kill. And when both of you are alone after that, all hell break lose! Everything - pillow, mugs, plates, chairs, tables, phone, TV, whatever you could think of, would be hurled at you for flirting with guys other than him. Sound familiar?

Illustration #1:
*Phone ringing*
Him: Hi, honey! What are you doing there?
You: [noisy background with guys' voices laughing] Hi! Having dinner with my friends! How are you?
Him: Who are with you? Why I heard guys' voices?
You: Oh, just some friends from college I bumped into.
Him: Stay away from them ok? Where are your girlfriends? Why don't you have dinner with them?
You: What is the matter? We are only having dinner.
Him: Just stay away from them okay. They are up to no good.
You: [thinking] What the....!!! *speechless*

Well, you know the scene that followed.

Seriously, the illustration above really did happen. Well, it happened to yours truly, that is why he remained an ex. HAHAHA~!!! I don't think it only happened to me. I am pretty sure that there are a lot of people out there who has to encounter these green-eyed monster everyday.

I personally hate extreme case of jealousy when it comes to relationship. True enough, jealousy is one of the main factors of a relationship break up. You see, jealousy could turn into possessiveness. Your partner would feel suffocated, lack self-confidence, lost trust in you, disappointed, etc when possessiveness rules the relationship. He'd eventually control your life - what you can and cannot do, limit those you befriend with, etc - and you can kiss goodbye to your privacy and freedom.

Sometimes you might wonder why he's such a jealous person. Well, truth is, you have to dig deep enough to find out from him. Usually, their feeling of insecurity turns them into a green-eyed monster unintentionally. Insecurity might arise out of his previous relationships. One of his exes might have cheated on him or two-timed him. You could be one of the reasons as well. If you told him about your previous relationships that had something to do with you being the two-timer bitch or you being the guilty party, he might be having the insecurity of you doing the same thing to him. He loves you, no doubt. But he's just scared. He fears losing you. And hence the insecurity and jealousy then possessiveness that follows.

Some guys would give up contact with all his female friends after you two are together AND expect you to do the same with your male friends. They are being selfish, you might say. No doubt, they are. And no, you don't have to tolerate that. Just tell him nicely on your views about it and if he's mature enough, he'll understand. Too bad, my ex didn't. That's why he remained as an EX-factor. LOL!!!

Good news is, not all guys are like that. Some guys actually respect your rights to befriend with whoever you want because they trusted you. They'll ask you to be wise and careful. Yes, they are worried and concerned about you. No, they are not possesive. Girls, you have to be clear in one thing: Your guy trusts you to befriend with whoever you want. He trusts you to know what you are doing. Its the people (guys especially) you befriend with that he doesn't trust. He is a guy as well and he knows all the possibilities what another guy might be thinking.

So, you might ask, how to kill the green-eyed monster? I have no idea. But IMHO, I feel that communication is a must in this department. Talk to him, properly and nicely of course. We don't want to damage any property or cause physical hurt to anybody only to regret it later, do we? But, if it still happen and you fight about it more than you breath, and you cannot take it anymore, call it a quit! End of story! Find someone else! Like my version of 'there are more fishes in the sea', DON'T GIVE UP THE WHOLE OCEAN BECAUSE OF ONE IKAN BILIS!

Right Here Waiting

I had loved you for years. The first time that I saw you, you were walking down the beach with the waves rolling gracefully, bowing down to you under the magical glare of the beautiful setting sun. I knew it deep in my heart that it was love. I knew I would love you forever. Ours was the kind of love that went beyond this world. Very few people understand true love. The need to be with someone. A need stronger than hunger or thirst.

Seated in my black Saab across the street, which I had purposely parked, I waited for you.

Squinting in the early morning light, I looked up, trying to pick out which of the windows belonged to you.

I remembered the party last night. The moon was shining brightly in the beauteous sky littered with billions of tiny little stars sparkling in the galaxy. Perfectly clad in a maroon evening gown, you looked stunningly gorgeous in the moonlight. The twinkling stars in the sky were like fireflies compared to the sparks that flew from your lovely eyes.

Where are you, my dear? Your plane will be leaving in two hours.

Finally there she was. What took you so long, my dear? I thought as I watched her carrying her luggage out the door and piling them into her car.

Your car was a beauty, just like you. I loved you so much that just the sight of you with your new haircut behind the wheel of your white MG sent my pulse racing. I loved the way you started your engine and pulled away from the driveway with a stylish roar.

I waited a few minutes before racing after you.

It was a torment for me for not telling you how much I love you. You will never understand. I cannot wait any longer to say what I feel. I must tell you today or never. I knew deep within my being that this would be a Herculean and titanic mission.

I scanned the crowd, trying to spot you.

There you are - as beautiful as ever. You reminded me of an angel. I can imagine an aura of gold encircling your head, infusing the red of your hair with a fiery brightnesss.

The way you smiled at me - the warmth of your smile melts my heart. I tried to smile back but my lip muscles did not want to co-operate.

I was searching for words. What can I describe to say how much I feel for you?

"Take care and good luck! Do write to me when you get there, ya!" was all that I managed to blurt out as my heart dropped to my foot and shattered into a thousand pieces. I struggled silently to overcome the pain inflicted so mercilessly upon the raw wounds of my broken heart.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. How true indeed these words are.

Please stay. Please do not leave me, I begged silently. Will you come back, my love? I am going to miss you so much that I know it is going to hurt.

But all I could do is to watch you leave and at the same time experiencing a sharp pain like that of an arrow piercing through the deep wounds of my anguished heart.

You deserved the best, my dear and I want you to go anywhere your heart desire. When you come back in the future, I will have everything ready and perfect for you. But when? You never told me, my dear.

No matter what happens, I will be right here waiting and never give up my faith in you. It's only a matter of time.

**The story was originally written by yours truly 5 years ago (when I was 17) out of sudden inspiration. No, I am no lesbo if that's what you think. I wrote that supposedly from a guy's perspective. Just in case the paper this story I wrote on perished or dissolved as time goes by, I better put it here for my future read. Heheh~!!!

Too Fast Too Furious

There is this saying behind a picture in my wallet that says:
“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.”
Very true, isn’t it?

With the advent of IT and globalization, there is still such thing as falling in love. If that is mutual then other considerations tend to fly out of the window.

But…
What if I like you but you do not?
What if I love you but you do not?

Sometimes in life we stumble upon that special someone but not everyone would have the chance to live out the classical Cinderella love story where they always live happily ever after towards the ending. Screw Cinderella! Screw Snow White! Screw Sleeping Beauty! Fairy tales will remain fairy tales whether you like it or not.

Picture this:

You have just met a great guy who is a good talker who could sweep you off your feet, interested in you and charming to your friends. He is obviously trying to connect with you from the way he flirts. Now, pinch yourself! So what are you thinking? This could be a start to something big? Is he the one? Is this love at first sight?

Well, there is this myth that if you meet someone and it’s the real thing, you should be love struck immediately and feel you can’t live without that person. But is it really possible to fall in love that fast? Is it wise? Is the intensity sustainable? And when love moves at such lightning speed, is there emotional fall-out down the track?

If you fall in love faster than you sneeze, you probably think that having a boyfriend/girlfriend will cure everything you do not like about yourself and your life. Gained a bit of weight? It does not matter if someone loves you. Hate your job? You will have things outside work to focus on. Bored with your daily routine? Well, you get the picture. It creates a false incentive for you to fall in love over and over because you think it will bring you instant happiness.

Most probably you are so in love with the idea of being in love that you believe every new man you meet is the one you have been waiting for all your life – regardless of how little you really know him and whether or not he is truly compatible with you.

It is like having a boat ready in front of you for you to step in and man it. But without hesitation or taking safety measure to check its safety features i.e. whether it comes together with a life jacket, whether there are holes at the bottom of the boat, you stepped in. After manning the boat for quite some time, oh man! There is a hole as big as tennis ball and in your attempt to save yourself, there is no safety jacket on board. The result? A tragic death as the boat sinks and you drown! Happy?

The point is, rushing into a relationship can prompt you to make bad decisions, misread signals and exaggerate feelings. It can also lead you to give more than you receive or create an impression that you are desperate when in fact you are just very keen. So, in the long run, getting into the boat of romance too fast could result in you being let down, used or mistreated and ending up nursing a broken heart.

To make sure you do not get burned you need to put the brakes on your emotions when you barely met or known a guy. There is a big difference between being swept up on a wave of romance and letting it completely wash you away.

If the guy you like is as great as you think and as interested as you hope, then he is not going anywhere – if he likes you he will want to get to know you better and encourage the relationship to develop and grow. So take your time and enjoy the wonderful, heady process of getting to know each other – there will be time for saying I love you and I do down the track.

Juliet oh Juliet, where art thou?

As far as I'm concerned, we girls hor, tend to make a lengthy list of requirements that we look for in a partner/boyfriend/husband/spouse/whatever-you-call-it, no? But a lot of time there are none that fit the requirements perfectly. So girls tend to fall for the wrong guy all the time. LOL!!! No, it is not a crime to have your list of requirements because who wants an alcoholic/gambler/abusive partner/boyfiend/husband/spouse/whatever-you-call-it, right?

I chatted with a friend the other day and suddenly the tendency to ask, "What are your list of requirements that you look for in a girl to be your girlfriend/wife/spouse?" just ran across my mind that I was too curious not to ask.

These were what I got, not in particular order:

1. Nice heart
   This goes to both gender. Who does not want a partner who has a nice heart??? Or did he mean a good and healthy heart with no family trait of heart attacks??? LOL! (Guys' words are so simple yet girls just love to think too much) But it is good to have both, right? IMHO, people get to be nicer as they age, but not everybody lah. So, the verdict? I passed!
2. Not rebellious
   Now this is the first time that I saw something like this in the list. But, hey, to a certain extent, this is required. Think about it, if your girl rebels all the time in everything you do, sienz also right? If you come home tired and worn out expecting some TLC (tender loving care) but she rebels and doesn't want to do the housework or entertain you, you just couldn't wait to get out of the house!
   Being the eldest in the family, I'm a born rebel! HAHAHA! I rebel in many things and situations but when it comes to boyfriend, HEHEHE!, the word does not exist!
3. Understanding
   This word is no stranger to me. I've learnt to master the art of understanding since the dinosaur exist. Enough said.
4. Romantic
   Awwww! Girls want guys to be romantic and vice versa. Think about that, who doesn't? But being romantic 24/7 would cause pain in the ass, so just be romantic whenever necessary lah. I don't know if I am a romantic person, you judge!
5. Knows how to manja when needed
   For your information, all guys I've asked put this requirement as a MUST. I don't know why. But again, being the eldest in the family, I am not used to manja to get what I want. Somehow, I've also learnt this art but not pretty well yet. Manja is still ok, but I hate it when girls just love to shed crocodile tears when wanting something. And the guys hate it!!! (Remember this, girls!)
6. Love me and not find trouble with me
   Of course love you lah!!! If not, why want to be together with you in the first place?? DUH!!! We only find trouble with you IF you find trouble with us. Unless it's us being spoilt to rotten by you! Hahaha!!!
7. Fair
   Eh, I have been wondering about this for a long time already. Why guys love fair girls??? Dark-skinned or tanned girls not pretty meh??? Okay, I'm fair myself so I've nothing much to say here.
8. Nice body and face would be an avantage
   All guys like girls with nice body and face. But when it comes to the real deal, they won't look at your physical appearance that much. They look at the whole package. Still, those would be an advantage if you have them. I won't say that I am good-looking but I'm pretty okay-looking compared to a lot of girls and with my personal touch of charm, I could be attractive in my own way. I don't have the satay-stick figure like those anaeroxics you see almost everywhere but I'm curvy, I don't like to be too skinny. A mannequin is too skinny for menstruation, you know? Take it or leave it.
9. Open-minded
   Woohoo!!! I'm all open to anything under the sun and above the sun. Just don't ask me to strip naked in public. I can take crude remarks, I can take religious jokes, I can take criticisms be it constructive or destructive, etc. But I take no-nonsense!
10. Not possessive
    I think this requirement always comes together with open-minded. I won't be possessive even if you are possessive but I won't tolerate if you get too possessive and tried to control my life. Enough said!
11. Knows her limits and not surpasing them
    What limits??? This one I still blur blur. Can someone please spell it out for me???
12. Discuss things with me
    If not discussing things, what are you two gonna do then? I stare at you and you stare at me ar??? DUH!!!
13. Knows how to cook
    HAH!!! This one I am proud to say that I CAN COOK. Seriously, not just Maggi Mee. Inherited the cooking talent don't know from who but I can cook something nice and simple out of scratch I found in the refrigerator. Surprised?
14. Respect my parents
    Now this is something I heard for the first time. Yes, of course you should respect his parents even though his mother can be a bitch and his father, well I don't know. Just in case they are going to be your parents-in-law, why not start to act from the day you meet them? Even if his mom is a perfect biatch you've got no choice. My parents always say respect the elders no matter who they are. I'm brought up in this manner so this is not a problem for me lor.
15. Help out in household chores automatically when needed
    Well, this is something that I wouldn't do autmatically. I am not your maid wei! If you expect me to do household chores, we either do it together or split the chores. And no, I won't do it automatically.

Guys, anything to add??? Girls, what do you think???

One Leg Step Many Boats

Illustration:

A guy, Z, has a girlfriend, A of five years back home. They entered a local university together but lived in different residential colleges. Z knew another girl, B from a part-time job he took over the holidays and they are very close. They are not in a relationship or anything but more to 'ai mei' like that. A does not know the existence of B and vice versa. Z knew another girl, C from university and they were sports buddy. C knew the existence of both A and B as Z treats C as a best friend.

Z told C that he likes B but because of the responsibility towards A, he couldn't simply dump her. Both A and B are from the same town. A's parents are damn strict when it comes to dating because they expect A to excel in studies and date later. Therefore, A and Z have been together in secret for such a long time. Well, A's family is filthy rich (just an added info). Z will definitely choose B if A's parents do not approve them together. Z said not that he is taking B as a spare but just a matter of 'parental consent'. He prefer B to A.

*roll eyes*

So far C has just been an observer and ears for Z. After discovering Z's real attitude, C has been keeping a distance from Z ever since. C does not think that telling everything to both A and B would be a good idea.

The question is:

1. What the hell is Z doing, fooling around with these 2 girls?

2. Does Z really love A? Or her money?

3. Who is the stupid one in this case? A or B? Or Z?

4. Is C doing the right thing?

5. Should A know the truth?

No need to be polite or consideration to anything wan, you can just hentam anyhow here!

Thank you!

**The above illustration is only a fiction. Tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau yang mati atau yang mahu mati. Any similarity to the above illustration is pure coincident.