Kampua Talk: The Green-Eyed Monster

Kampua Talk

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Green-Eyed Monster

Being in a relationship with an easily jealous person is tough. When you talk to other guys, he'll stare at you with that sharp look that's going to slice you into pieces, literally. They say, if looks can kill. And when both of you are alone after that, all hell break lose! Everything - pillow, mugs, plates, chairs, tables, phone, TV, whatever you could think of, would be hurled at you for flirting with guys other than him. Sound familiar?

Illustration #1:
*Phone ringing*
Him: Hi, honey! What are you doing there?
You: [noisy background with guys' voices laughing] Hi! Having dinner with my friends! How are you?
Him: Who are with you? Why I heard guys' voices?
You: Oh, just some friends from college I bumped into.
Him: Stay away from them ok? Where are your girlfriends? Why don't you have dinner with them?
You: What is the matter? We are only having dinner.
Him: Just stay away from them okay. They are up to no good.
You: [thinking] What the....!!! *speechless*

Well, you know the scene that followed.

Seriously, the illustration above really did happen. Well, it happened to yours truly, that is why he remained an ex. HAHAHA~!!! I don't think it only happened to me. I am pretty sure that there are a lot of people out there who has to encounter these green-eyed monster everyday.

I personally hate extreme case of jealousy when it comes to relationship. True enough, jealousy is one of the main factors of a relationship break up. You see, jealousy could turn into possessiveness. Your partner would feel suffocated, lack self-confidence, lost trust in you, disappointed, etc when possessiveness rules the relationship. He'd eventually control your life - what you can and cannot do, limit those you befriend with, etc - and you can kiss goodbye to your privacy and freedom.

Sometimes you might wonder why he's such a jealous person. Well, truth is, you have to dig deep enough to find out from him. Usually, their feeling of insecurity turns them into a green-eyed monster unintentionally. Insecurity might arise out of his previous relationships. One of his exes might have cheated on him or two-timed him. You could be one of the reasons as well. If you told him about your previous relationships that had something to do with you being the two-timer bitch or you being the guilty party, he might be having the insecurity of you doing the same thing to him. He loves you, no doubt. But he's just scared. He fears losing you. And hence the insecurity and jealousy then possessiveness that follows.

Some guys would give up contact with all his female friends after you two are together AND expect you to do the same with your male friends. They are being selfish, you might say. No doubt, they are. And no, you don't have to tolerate that. Just tell him nicely on your views about it and if he's mature enough, he'll understand. Too bad, my ex didn't. That's why he remained as an EX-factor. LOL!!!

Good news is, not all guys are like that. Some guys actually respect your rights to befriend with whoever you want because they trusted you. They'll ask you to be wise and careful. Yes, they are worried and concerned about you. No, they are not possesive. Girls, you have to be clear in one thing: Your guy trusts you to befriend with whoever you want. He trusts you to know what you are doing. Its the people (guys especially) you befriend with that he doesn't trust. He is a guy as well and he knows all the possibilities what another guy might be thinking.

So, you might ask, how to kill the green-eyed monster? I have no idea. But IMHO, I feel that communication is a must in this department. Talk to him, properly and nicely of course. We don't want to damage any property or cause physical hurt to anybody only to regret it later, do we? But, if it still happen and you fight about it more than you breath, and you cannot take it anymore, call it a quit! End of story! Find someone else! Like my version of 'there are more fishes in the sea', DON'T GIVE UP THE WHOLE OCEAN BECAUSE OF ONE IKAN BILIS!

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Blogger Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Lucky that u dump him. Trust me if u continue with him ur life with him will be a living hell. Guy should trust his gf & also give her freedom beside love. If my gf is like that I will have dump her also.

1:44 PM  
Blogger 5xmom.com said...

I cannot live without male friends, seriously. But I don't want to know if my atm has any female friends. Hehehe, we live berharmoni for 22 years oredi like that. So, yay to friends of the opposite sex, as long as no sex. I like my private territory.

3:42 PM  
Blogger freethinker said...

walau...ikan billis ?

7:57 PM  
Blogger CLare said...

hor ny ang moh - yeah! gimme five!

5xmom.com - Couldn't agree more with you...

freethinker - yeah, ikan bilis...

4:59 PM  

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