Kampua Talk: Too Fast Too Furious

Kampua Talk

Friday, March 02, 2007

Too Fast Too Furious

There is this saying behind a picture in my wallet that says:
“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.”
Very true, isn’t it?

With the advent of IT and globalization, there is still such thing as falling in love. If that is mutual then other considerations tend to fly out of the window.
What if I like you but you do not?
What if I love you but you do not?

Sometimes in life we stumble upon that special someone but not everyone would have the chance to live out the classical Cinderella love story where they always live happily ever after towards the ending. Screw Cinderella! Screw Snow White! Screw Sleeping Beauty! Fairy tales will remain fairy tales whether you like it or not.
Picture this:
You have just met a great guy who is a good talker who could sweep you off your feet, interested in you and charming to your friends. He is obviously trying to connect with you from the way he flirts. Now, pinch yourself! So what are you thinking? This could be a start to something big? Is he the one? Is this love at first sight?

Well, there is this myth that if you meet someone and it’s the real thing, you should be love struck immediately and feel you can’t live without that person. But is it really possible to fall in love that fast? Is it wise? Is the intensity sustainable? And when love moves at such lightning speed, is there emotional fall-out down the track?

If you fall in love faster than you sneeze, you probably think that having a boyfriend/girlfriend will cure everything you do not like about yourself and your life. Gained a bit of weight? It does not matter if someone loves you. Hate your job? You will have things outside work to focus on. Bored with your daily routine? Well, you get the picture. It creates a false incentive for you to fall in love over and over because you think it will bring you instant happiness.

Most probably you are so in love with the idea of being in love that you believe every new man you meet is the one you have been waiting for all your life – regardless of how little you really know him and whether or not he is truly compatible with you.

It is like having a boat ready in front of you for you to step in and man it. But without hesitation or taking safety measure to check its safety features i.e. whether it comes together with a life jacket, whether there are holes at the bottom of the boat, you stepped in. After manning the boat for quite some time, oh man! There is a hole as big as tennis ball and in your attempt to save yourself, there is no safety jacket on board. The result? A tragic death as the boat sinks and you drown! Happy?

The point is, rushing into a relationship can prompt you to make bad decisions, misread signals and exaggerate feelings. It can also lead you to give more than you receive or create an impression that you are desperate when in fact you are just very keen. So, in the long run, getting into the boat of romance too fast could result in you being let down, used or mistreated and ending up nursing a broken heart.

To make sure you do not get burned you need to put the brakes on your emotions when you barely met or known a guy. There is a big difference between being swept up on a wave of romance and letting it completely wash you away.

If the guy you like is as great as you think and as interested as you hope, then he is not going anywhere – if he likes you he will want to get to know you better and encourage the relationship to develop and grow. So take your time and enjoy the wonderful, heady process of getting to know each other – there will be time for saying I love you and I do down the track.

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